Bacon jam. It sounds horrible, but tastes amazing. Think of it as more of a  ‘bacon spread’, so you can get the disgusting thought of bacon mixed with sweet berries out of your mind. This is like concentrated bacon flavor with a side of caramelized onions- and it is perfection.

I’m sure you’ve gathered that I appreciate bacon- what with my bacon rose tutorial, and my fave yam and bacon perogies ever! Well this is several thousand notches above those in the bacon dept. So let’s get started!

I used Martha Stewart’s recipe, and I am so glad I did, because it resulted in pure glory. All you need to create this true ambrosia is:

Fry up the bacon in a big pot until it is just starting to get crispy. Place the bacon on a paper towel-lined plate, and cook the onions and garlic in the remaining fat. Mmmmm, bacon fat.

Try your hardest to leave that bacon alone…if you are anything like me, if there is bacon on the counter, you will subconsciously nibble at it every time you walk past until there is nothing left. To help with temptation, I created a sign:

A little guilt-inducing reminder never hurt anyone. PS check out my nasty 1970’s frog sponge-holder I got from a thriftstore! You jealous? Cuz I am.

After the onions are tender, add the vinegar, sugar and maple syrup. And then make way for the secret ingredient:

Coffee! (In my fave mug ever, I might add! I love pretty lil gifts from good friends- thanks, Cynde 🙂 )

Once everything is all happy and the sugar has dissolved in the pot, transfer the magical mixture to your crock pot.

Cook it on high with the lid OFF for around 3 and a half hours. Give it a good stir every now and then to prevent burning around the edges. You’ll know it’s done when it is the kind of consistency that you would love to smother over an entire baguette. You might want to drain a bit of the fat off- depending on how greasy you like it 😉

Mmmm, that is concentrated bacony goodness right there! This recipe makes about 3 cups.

It is my new favorite thing to bring to a potluck because it’s a lot like me: strange yet intriguing, delicious, and perfect. And salty. And sweet. And talented, and modest. Bacon can be so many things can’t it?

I tell ya, I swear this is gonna be my pregnancy craving this time around! Maybe I’ll get a chubby baby for once! Step aside, “water retention”, cuz bacon jam retention in the 3rd trimester sounds super comfy!